10 Benefits of NOT Being a Famous Author

books-and-coffeeI try to be a “glass is half full” kind of person. When I fall down, I pick myself up. When the going gets tough, I get going. So when I see the sales of my books have flat lined, I try to look on the bright side.

Here’s a list of reasons I’m glad I’m not a famous, bestselling author:

I can wear my house shoes to the pharmacy and not worry about getting recognized. (Oh yes. I’ve done that.)

No stalkers. (Can you imagine how many creepers hang out watching for Stephen King?)

Fewer fan emails to answer. I need to save my nimble fingers for typing my next not-so-popular novel.

Lower tax bracket. I “heart” the IRS.

No speaking engagements mean I don’t have to wash my hair as often. (It never looks that good anyway, so why bother?)

No moochers. (I just know that if I made a lot of money that my relatives would crawl out of the woodwork asking for handouts. You know who you are.)

Fewer reviews to worry about. Haters gonna hate.

No television appearances mean I don’t have to lose weight. They say the camera adds 10 pounds. (Am I on camera now? A lot?)

Low expectations. When those famous writers publish a dud — and let’s face it, they all do occasionally — no one will say, “She’s lost her touch. It’s downhill from here on out.”

Fewer decisions. I don’t have to worry about where to take my next fabulous vacation. Or how much to pay the butler. Or what to wear to the Pulitzer Prize Awards Ceremony. (I assume they have a ceremony.)

263H

I’m sure I’ve left out some other major benefits. If you can think of others, put them in the comments below. I could use another pick-me-up.

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30 Responses to 10 Benefits of NOT Being a Famous Author

  1. Lynda says:

    I just finished book two as usual for me before book one, and I am definitely going back for one! I love the way write and was delighted to think while reading your blog that have the same way about blogging. The book was entertaining and a”cozy” read that I couldn’t wait to get back to a after being forced out it down for mundane things like work! As is I may be late work because of this comment writing but I wanted express my gratitude for time not wasted!

  2. Lisa Thomas says:

    Thank you so much! If you sign up for my newsletter, you will get a free book that includes the true story behind Sharpe Shooter.

  3. Camille Hess-Lewis says:

    Just finished your Sharpe Shooter, Book One. I enjoyed it! Deena is quirky and honest-t0-goodness (or not) like a real person. Cleverly written, with the undeniable interest we all still have for the Kennedy drama. Thanks! And the list of reasons why you DON’T want to be a successful writer – good stuff. Keep writing and I’ll keep reading – well, I will anyway, as I can’t help it.

  4. Lisa Thomas says:

    Thanks Anne

  5. Anne R. Tan says:

    Yep, my writing gave us a tax return for the first time in years. And the weight loss thing is huge. I can’t use the baby weight excuse anymore when the little guy isn’t technically a baby anymore. 🙂 Hang in there.

  6. Donna says:

    We all go through these slumps, but it is good to have a positive outlook – even if it is a bit tongue-in-cheek.

  7. Lisa Thomas says:

    Wishing you much success.

  8. Travis says:

    I have often feared the day I actually become famous for one of my novels. Can you imagine a male author of dark erotic thrillers having to deal with the paparazzi?

    The horror of it all.

    I enjoy the money from book sales, but I don’t look forward to the fame, if and when it ever happens.

    🙂

  9. Lisa Thomas says:

    You’re right. That would be awful.

  10. And no money. But it’s fun.

  11. Bruce says:

    I don’t have to write long, pseudo intellectual, or silacious letters to other famous writers.
    I don’t have to spend part of the year in Paris, Key West, or Greenwich Village just to satisfy someone else’s definition of a counter culture icon.

  12. I try to think of it as practice staying natural, lol! Only’ve had 65+ years practice 🙂

    Either way, looking fwd to learning more ’bout your Austin based new series!

    Best wishes 🙂

  13. Here’s one: You can’t credibly be a cougar

  14. Stef says:

    Lisa, your post cracked me up! That is all soooo true!
    I like the way you see the bright side of the matter! Rock on xx

  15. Hunter says:

    Actually, this sounds exactly like many famous authors, so you may be prepping yourself for the future. Thanks for a fun blog. I’ve got to share this! xo

  16. That’s an interesting perspective!

  17. Lisa Thomas says:

    Am I? Or am I doing the opposite of reverse psychology? Good question.

  18. Lisa Thomas says:

    Thank you, Kiru. Would you like to buy a million books?

  19. Lisa Thomas says:

    I had forgotten about acceptance speeches. Good catch.

  20. Ha-ha-ha. I love this. Also, there’s no need to write and memorize award acceptance speeches.

  21. Kiru Taye says:

    This post made me smile. Well, I do hope you become a bestselling author. 🙂

  22. You’re using reverse psychology, right? LOL! I’ve never thought of all these benefits, thanks for the nifty list! E

  23. Lisa Thomas says:

    Oh, I still want my books to be successful!

  24. Lisa Thomas says:

    Thanks PJ

  25. Lisa Thomas says:

    Good point. Last thing I need is someone staring at me when I have a wad of broccoli in my teeth!

  26. Lisa Thomas says:

    Would you rather be rich or famous?

  27. Anonymous says:

    Some great points…however…I think I’d still prefer to be famous…

  28. Regina Puckett says:

    I love this.

    You can also eat in public and no one will interrupt your meal, asking for your autograph. I think that every time I go out to eat -there’s no one rushing my table and I can eat with my mouth open. The glory of no one knowing who you are 🙂

  29. PJ Fiala says:

    Fabulous way to put a positive spin on it! Love.

  30. LOVE this… I will try and remember why I really don;t want my books to be successful! 🙂

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